If I Could Invite One Fictional Character to Christmas Dinner…

Christmas is almost here, and we’re planning our last minute invitations to everyone from Willy Wonka to a King of the Seven Kingdoms…

If I Could Invite One Fictional Character to Christmas Dinner it would be Willy Wonka
Photo: HBO / Larian Studios / and Sliver Screen Collection/Getty Images

No matter what they tell you, Christmastime is the best time. It’s the deep breath on the last page of the calendar; the chance to take stock of the year that was and appreciate that we’re halfway through the darkest days of winter, hopefully surrounded by beloved family and friends.

But you know what would make it one better? If it was family, friends, and a fictional character of our choosing each year! Imagine for just one magical evening every December, Doc Brown rolled up in a DeLorean to sample Christmas cookies? Or what if it’s Han Solo or Princess Leia who is asking you to pass the gravy and potatoes? You just know Chewbacca would be all-in on a game of pulling the Christmas crackers. So with that in mind, we asked our staff to think of who they’d like to party with come Christmas Day.

Robert Baratheon in Game of Thrones

Robert Baratheon – Game of Thrones

When thinking about what makes a good Christmas dinner guest, my reasoning always came back to the same trait. A good Christmas dinner guest has to be drunk. You know: shitfaced, blottoed, wasted, faded, gone, schmacked. And my favorite drunk in all of pop culture is undoubtedly Westeros’ rightful monarch: King Robert of House Baratheon, First of His Name. 

Dining with Bobby B would mean being regaled with stories of the Battle of the Bells and creation of the Ruby Ford in his booming voice while he dribbles ale and blood sausage down his immense beard. And since I’m dining with King Robert, that means he’s still alive and I can try to impart the important lesson to him of keeping his alcohol consumption confined to the dinner table and not boar hunts, saving the Seven Kingdoms a whole lot of trouble. – Alec Bojalad


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