Sex and the City: Carrie and Big Were Perfect for Each Other (But Not in a Good Way)

Carrie and Big aren’t “relationship goals” by any means, but they definitely deserve each other.

Chris Noth and Sarah Jessica Parker in And Just Like That...
Photo: Craig Blankenhorn | Max

This article contains spoilers for Sex and the City.

Carrie Bradshaw’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) relationship with John James Preston a.k.a. Mr. Big (Chris Noth) on Sex and the City has long been a divisive one. There are many who (rightfully) believe that Carrie never deserved Big, and that his inability to commit should have been a massive red flag from the beginning. There are others who believe that Big and Carrie are soulmates and he’s the only logical endgame for her. I would argue that both takes are partially right, Big and Carrie are perfect for each other, but not in a good way.

Big and Carrie are both terrible about sending mixed signals to each other. Big is clear that he doesn’t want to get married again when he first starts dating Carrie, but then turns right around and marries Natasha (Bridget Moynahan) not long after their first breakup. Carrie acts like she wants to be swept off her feet in romance and be in a serious relationship, but ignores all of the signs from Big that that’s not the kind of guy he is, and then gets mad at him for not being the guy she wants him to be.

Carrie is right to stand up for herself and break things off after Big introduces her to his mom as a “friend,” but at the same time this only happens because she has gone through the trouble of secretly following Big to the church he attends with his mother and forcing the introduction out of nowhere. If they were truly in a healthy relationship, Big shouldn’t have kept the fact that he takes his mom to church from Carrie, but Carrie shouldn’t have felt the need to spy on him either.


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